If you stick a slow beat behind this and read it out loud, it sounds like a song by The Streets. Or speed it up a bit for the “Dear Slim…” letter in StanIf I was hosting this is how I would address the situation:
"Hi X, I'd just like a have a little chat for a minute thanks. It's been brought to my attention by several players that there is an issue around personal hygiene and as the host It's only right, I know you'll be understanding mate, that this really does need to be addressed. X you know nobody has as issue with you mate as we all love this hobby and just want to all have a good, fun time playing pinball, you'd agree with that right? Great, I'm asking you to just be considerate to everyone else here mate and kindly be aware that you are giving off a smell which again is not fair to all the players. Now don't be under any illusion whatsoever mate that anyone here thinks you should be banned or called out publicly, that's not what we are saying at all. Just please be mindful of your personal hygiene going forward and just give everyone here the same respect that you yourself would expect. If it is brought to my attention again X then personally I would be asking you to leave as it's just not fair on everyone else. You might not even be aware of it mate? I know it's not easy, but please, please, please do not think there is any anymosity from anyone in the community towards you. We just need to be mindful and aware if anything becomes an issue and that is why I'm having this chat with you now X. Believe you me I know that when you go back out now you are going to be feeling really awkward. Look, I've said to everyone here please just act normally as if this chat didn't take place, and honestly mate everyone has assured me that they will do that. Again remember we are almost like a family here, no hard feelings right? Thanks for listening and understanding X and have a great day of flippin !!!
You can save a lot of time and effort by simply just chucking a bar of soap at them! Same message just far quickerIf I was hosting this is how I would address the situation:
"Hi X, I'd just like a have a little chat for a minute thanks. It's been brought to my attention by several players that there is an issue around personal hygiene and as the host It's only right, I know you'll be understanding mate, that this really does need to be addressed. X you know nobody has as issue with you mate as we all love this hobby and just want to all have a good, fun time playing pinball, you'd agree with that right? Great, I'm asking you to just be considerate to everyone else here mate and kindly be aware that you are giving off a smell which again is not fair to all the players. Now don't be under any illusion whatsoever mate that anyone here thinks you should be banned or called out publicly, that's not what we are saying at all. Just please be mindful of your personal hygiene going forward and just give everyone here the same respect that you yourself would expect. If it is brought to my attention again X then personally I would be asking you to leave as it's just not fair on everyone else. You might not even be aware of it mate? I know it's not easy, but please, please, please do not think there is any anymosity from anyone in the community towards you. We just need to be mindful and aware if anything becomes an issue and that is why I'm having this chat with you now X. Believe you me I know that when you go back out now you are going to be feeling really awkward. Look, I've said to everyone here please just act normally as if this chat didn't take place, and honestly mate everyone has assured me that they will do that. Again remember we are almost like a family here, no hard feelings right? Thanks for listening and understanding X and have a great day of flippin !!!
I think I know where it would end up if you try to give somebody your monologue in real lifeWas exhausting, now where did I put my can of SURE ?