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The Full Throttle Story (as it really happened)

Eala Dubh Sidhe

Registered
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
106
Location
South Wales
(Sung to 'Right Said Fred' by Bernard Cribbins)

Right said And, we need an innovation
Transparent screen tech, that's the way to go.
Was a prism, what a load of jism,
My eyesight went haywire
And then he broke the bloody screen and

Right said And, I'll do a presentation,
Unveil Circe, explain it to the proles.
Was a dead loss, hung up on the mythos,
Not quick or high-concept
And so I went and had a cry and

Andrew had a think and he said "look Dave,
My feet are getting itchy
From advice said by Mark Ritchie
Even JPop admits that he thinks the idea's ****"

And right said And, we'd better change the theme then
Need a fast one, we've got a game with flow.
Started pacing, wasn't keen on racing,
Another plan like that on the go,
But then Andrew declared that we'd do some motorbikes
And I went "oh no".

Right said And, the loop accelerator,
That's our main mech, you've got to make it go.
Out of its box looked just like a big cock
Phil* and I went "NO WAY"
And then we took some dick pics with it

Right said And, I want some banners printed,
Early '13 release at a show.
Two years later not a sweet potater,
Promo work went nowhere
And so we faced insolvency and

Andrew said "it's time to throw the annual UK Pinball Party
Which we'll hold at the factory
And we'll save some cash even though it looks slapdash"

And right said And, we've got to get this game out,
Spruce it up quick before we meet our doom.
By committee playfield art looks ****ty,
Worked my ass off to make it bloom,
Until Andrew launched Alien to get preorder funds
And FT went boom.


(*Phil Docker)
 
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'So I said to Roger, "We'll just have to make a fresh start of it, that's all. You see the trouble with Andrew was, he's too arsy. You never get nowhere if you're too arsy."'
 
And this is what followed ( Sung to Lionel Richie "Hello").

I've been alone with you
inside my mind
and in my dreams I played the game
a thousand times
I've sometimes seen it
on my games room floor

Heighway!

Its Alien I've been waiting for
I can't see it with my eyes
I can't feel it in my hands
its all I ever wanted
and my doors were open wide
cause you know its been so long
and this I have to do
and I have to tell you so much
I've lost confidence in you

I longed to start a love affair
and say time and time again
how much I care
but now I feel it's time to let go

Hello

I've just got to let you know
my LE has not arrived
and my order is overdue
is it somewhere feeling lonely
or in a back order queue
tell me where it all went wrong
because I haven't got a clue
so let me start by saying **** ***

Heighway

Its my cash I'm looking for
cause I no longer want the game
and have it sent from you
the retainer is all I need
and nothing else will do
tell me you will pay it back
so I won't have to sue
and then I can say thank you.


************and the rest is history!!
 
Imagine no possessions if you pay in full you will,
No deposits taken from the stupid few,

They say highway is a schemer, but he’s not the only one
Carnt blame him totally for the workers , who stayed on and on

Lots of people warned you that your money could be done
I hope someday you see sense and join us , and the scammers will be gone

(Peace and love, and a small pinch of common sense ) John Lennon 1968
 
Google image search and chips!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
 
sweeping statements about the "yanks" - lol.

one they probably haven't heard of the song and two:

nobody cares about Heighway I think that's probably the more dismal truth about the whole shocking affair.
 
It’s true they don’t get British humour that’s why it never works when they try to make an American version of a British comedy
 
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